15 January 1992
In Memoriam - Klaus-Peter Pahl
12 Oct 1944 - 15 Jan 1987
My Dear Dead
Brother ....
Today it's 5 years ago that your life ended so abruptly and tragically,
just 42 years and 3 months old.
I was
very depressed today because of you,but God has eased my load today
and made me realize in full clarity that I must embark on an exciting new
journey, and travel a new road: the road of love.
This road is in fact
very old, but often avoided and abused.
It's the road of love,
unconditional, unselfish love ,no matter what ...in spite of everything,
overcoming all pain, all obstacles ...
I suddenly remembered your
quest for justice in this world ...
Your silent outcry in view of the
abused and oppressed human beings.
I suddenly remembered our heated
debates when on visit in Germany regarding the Palestinian Problem, the
Right for the Palestinians to live their life in dignity and
self-determination, and the ugly opression.
Well, I defended my country
against incorrect alligations, and often we both couldn't see straight
because of the one-sided, subjective presentation of the problem.
We
both were trapped in our positions and prejudices.
We ALL are trapped
... on either side ...
We often discussed religion and you were so
mad at God because he allowed all the injustice to happen. I also
remembered our dear father's view on this ....
He had seen so many
tragic situations during World War II, and he too wondered why God didn't
prevent this from happening ....
Then I remembered the Holocaust
Survivers who lost so many Loved Ones in the concentration camps, and
there was no God to comfort and listen to their dreadful outcries and
helpless pleas...
But now, I am sure that you and Dad and Mom and
our older brother who live now in the spirit world have a better
understanding and knowledge regarding the mystery of life, for God is a
kind father to all the family of man ...
It's men who cause so
much pain and suffering to their fellow man ...
I carry you all in
my heart ... I have not forgotten how bitterly you cried at father's open
coffin and grave, because you weren't there when it happened, but your
absence gave me the chance to be there instead, and I am forever grateful
...
And then God permitted me to get home to mother just in time to
accompany her for just a little while, towards the open door that led her
out of this world ... I shall never forget this ...
Only you and
our oldest brother died alone and I wasn't there with you ...
Just
one day after Mama passed away, he drowned in the Atlantic ocean, he a
sailor who had loved the sea, drowned ...
And now you are in a
different state, and I think of you, full of love and compassion ...
To-night I want to open a new page in my life....to-night I want
to start carrying the load that you always wanted to carry and never
could, because your were a prisoner of your envirement, your surrounding
and up-bringing, a prisoner of your own low self-esteem, although you were
such a good person, loving and kind ...
Until now I myself was a
prisoner, lacking self-esteem and real character-strength, always taking
the nice easy and smooth road, just dreaming of the tough climb, but too
weak to make that fateful switch.
To-night I shall make it and
nothing shall ever be the same ...
I know what it means to be really
low, broken, destructive, deceadful, foolish, shameless, selfish and what
have you ...
We can lie to others, can make-believe and pretend, but
we cannot lie to God or to ourselves ...
It's either harmony or
turmoil , success or failure ..
Peace or war is always first inside us
before it will spread around us, the choice is really ours ...
Other
people's behavior and hatred is no excuse for own shortcomings ...
I
am not a preacher, I am not self-righteous or overinflated, but I will
reach out ... I will do what you always wanted to do in life ... to love
just for love's sake, love no matter what happens ..
This is the
whole simple truth ...love they neighbor as thyself ..
Love must be
unselfish, no rewards expected, no promises connected ...just love despite
of hatred and killings, love without limit, without judgement and without
prejudice ...
My Brother, I always thought that your ideas were
extreme, unrealistic, foolish and utopic ...
Now I must confess, there
is nothing else but that one scheme : LOVE, no political program, no
religious restriction, no party boundary, but all embracing LOVE ...
It's so basic, so simple, yet so very often neglected and abused
Now I your brother will carry that message and you will accompany
me on my journey through the thornfields ...
You will help me up when I
fall and faint, when I am discouraged , you will help me ...
Our Good
Lord will carry us all ... he has helped you up, and he will help all of
us ...
The message is to love, to carry this love despite abuse
and hatred, despite killings and spill of innocent blood ..
There are
enemies, rutheless killers, misguided, fanatic and mean, there will be
serve punishment for all the evil designs and innocent bloodshedding ...
We all are children of the very same Father, we all came naked and
helpless into this world, and we all shall leave this world and turn to
dust one day..
But we shall be judged on the judgement day and we shall
be held accountable for our conduct during our mortal days ...
When I leave this world and join you all, it does not matter when
that happens, or how it happens, I must love, for love is the only
justification for my existence ... This is the whole and simple truth ...
Nothing must blind me or distract me from this simple truth ..
No unjust killing or hatred, no program, no violence must ever come
in-between ...
I must embark on my journey, my dear brother,
girded with love and love alone ...
I have whiped the sheet clean - no
more hatred, just compassion and love, unconditional, all-embracing ...
I have nothing to hide , I am prepared to go the stony path ...
There is so much suffering, so much injustice in this world, so
much blindness and deafness, so many oppressed and so many opressors ...
We were lucky to be born in the " richer " part of the world, we
were unlucky to get caught up in protecting our world, shutting out the
less fortunate ...
We eventually realized that there is another
world next to our own, a poor, sad and opressed world, exploited by our
rich, self-righteous world ...
How could that happen, we didn't want to
see at first the miseries ...
Only a relative small crowd has ventured
into the so-called Third World and labors day and night to ease suffering.
So many helpless children still die ...
The Junk-culture of
our own selfish world covers this all up and throws a bone here and there
to ease the concience ...
We are so much engaged in our foolish
schemes ....
And there was our older brother .. always the kind
and compassionte, always with an open hand and open mind, but also trapped
in the same webb as we all were ...
And sweet dear mother, she
liked to focus on the little things, on the children and all of Gods
little creatures and creations ...
She didn't understand much of
politics, but she carried a lot of love and compassion within her ... and
also she, like the rest of us, trapped in our western world prejudice and
comfort, the difficult war years faded and forgotten ...
Her and
father's example of our difficult post-war up-bringing has been engraved
in my heart forever ..
Their self-sacrifice after the war will never
be forgotten.
There will be yet many dis-appointments, difficulties and obstacles,
abuse and ridicule in store ...but despite all this,
it MUST BE DONE
and it SHALL BE DONE !
With Love, your Brother
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